Ok, so now I am officially sleepless in toronto. I just finished watching a movie, which I will not even dare say its name. Firstly, a friend lent it to me 2 weeks ago and I have been contemplating on whether or not I should watch it. I find it strange but good that although some years ago I could watch just about anything and it had no real affect on me, now I can no longer do that. Last week I watched a movie and the graphics disturbed me so much that I had to stop the movie. Today I can still see it. I think that is why I waited so long for this movie. I guess by the title I never should have ever watched it but low and behold I did tonight. Firstly it had no plot, no story and it was very disturbing. I really wish I could take back this last couple of hours. I know that this is going to affect me for some time. Pamela said to me that she feels that watching a movie such as this gives the devil access into your home. While I watched, that is how I felt, RIGHT NOW I feel very dirty. It is quite amazing how I've basically done a 360 on so many things in my life or at least a 180.
I was/am struggling with so many things like what movies are ok to watch, are movies ok to watch, is drinking a sin, same for music, tv, magazines, dancing, going to bars, even karoake, etc.... I could go on forever. And I realize that everything affects you. Everything has an influence. I think it is extremely important as to what you allow yourself and those around you to be influenced by. God allowed for entertainment. It is not necessarily entertainment that is bad, its the type of entertainment that we chose. In reality if it isn't for God than maybe we should be asking ourselves why are we doing it.
P.S. The sad thing is, is that I knew before I popped in the dvd that God was telling me not too. It really is just easier and smarter to just listen. God knows best, why do we always question it. Or more so, why do I?
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