Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Happy Birthday Mommy and Jessica

Today is my mommy's 50th birthday and Jessica's 16th birthday. I love you both very much. Hope you had a wonderful day. It is amazing how this year both of their birthday's were very significant. They are significant and very special people in my life. I cherish them both.

Happy Birthday!!!

Monday, November 24, 2003

This afternoon....

I was at a Christian bookstore and a gentleman started talking to me. He had told me that he had only been a Christian for 10 mos. but wow was he ever well versed. He said that for 53 yrs he had never stepped foot in any church. He is now a devote Christian out there trying to make a difference in the world. We talked a little about politics here in Canada, the States, our churches, etc... He just came back from a conference in the States - at Freedom Village. (a place where troubled teens go to get help and regain their life in Jesus. He was amazed at the testimonies and he even seemed teary eyed when speaking about it.

I don't think it was by accident that we bumped into each other. I am glad my 'system' with God is not built on coincidences. It was a nice afternoon. Maybe I will bump into him again, maybe I won't, but he sure touched my life today and I hope I touched his. God bless him.


I remember not too long ago I wrote about my emotions. I had mentioned that I seem to not be able to respond to real life with emotions. TV, movie or a story would make me cry but in real life I was 'tough'. Well, my emotions are back. Yippee!! I am finding that as of late my emotional level has climbed quite a bit. I am quite glad because I know that a part of my soul print is emotions. Sometimes I can actually be over emotional-but for a time it all stopped. I thought something was wrong with me and I realize that it was just a phase I must have been going through. Its back. I just hope I don't get emotional over everything now. :-)

Sunday, November 23, 2003

Stay clear of The Old Spaghetti Factory (Toronto)!!

On Saturday evening my family, seventeen of us, went to The Old Spaghetti Factory in Toronto. We were celebrating my mother turning 50 and my niece turning 16. What we thought would be a great night turned into a disaster. The whole time we were there we had terrible service. The server was pleasant but when you arrive at a restaurant and figure maybe at most you will be there for approx. 2hrs and it turns into 5, you get just a little peeved. Each portion of our dinner took way too long to arrive even the drinks. Seven, yes seven of our entrees were wrong.

The manager was very unprofessional. I, being in the restaurant business and a supervisor, went politely up to the manager to have a little chat regarding our service. We ended up speaking with him on three occasions. He only discounted our 1.49 upcharge for caesar salad, which only a few people had and gave us 3 complimentary meals for next time. Hello!!! Does he really think any of us are going to come again??!! I am sorry but it was suppose to be a fun night and everyone ended up agitated, frustrated and we all left in a not so pleasant mood.

I normally would never do such a thing but I sent a letter to head office. One should not conduct a business this way and I think that they should know. The problem can not be fixed unless we go above the manager who really didn't care too much and only wanted us out. Hello, that was all we wanted!!! :-)

When we arrived home all was well. Our night wasn't completely ruined but 5 hours was unpleasant. Nice to be home. Next time we will just order pizza or something. :-)


On Friday night I went to see the play Cabaret at the Meadowvale Theatre in Mississauga. My friend Owen was playing the role of Clifford Bradshaw. I was a little apprehensive going to see his performance. But wow was I amazed. After the first few scenes I forgot that it was Owen and was totally drawn into his character. The play was quite good. I recommend to anyone who is going to be in this area to get a ticket to it. You will not be disappointed. All the main actors did a phenomenal job. Congrats to all of you!!

Thursday, November 20, 2003

Lessons From My Grandfather

This was taken from a daily devotional I get via email from Intouch Ministries. Thought it was worth it to share.

Lessons From My Grandfather

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Every society is only one generation away from paganism. For this reason, parents and grandparents have the awesome responsibility of passing down to their children the biblical truths and principles that have changed their lives. That is why I want to share what my grandfather taught me.

When I graduated from high school at the age of seventeen, I decided to visit my granddad, whom I had seen only two times in my life. I had an entire week to spend at his home, and all I wanted to do was listen to him. As he spoke to me, the thing that impressed me above all else was hearing him say, "Charles, obey God. If God tells you to run your head through a brick wall, you head for the wall. And when you get there, God will make a hole for it."

He knew a lot about brick walls and how God makes holes in them. He shared that his youthful passion had been to preach but that this dream was blocked by his lack of education. With no schooling, he did not see how he would ever get started as a preacher. But he opened the Bible, got on his knees, and learned to read and preach by simply crying out to God for help.

From that humble beginning, he started to minister, and as the Lord opened opportunities, my grandfather eventually established numerous churches. That week of visiting and sharing taught me that when you really want to do God's will, He will move heaven and earth to show you the way.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

To Dustin and Melissa!

I was talking with Pamela the other night and she told me about someone in their church who is acting 'holier than thou' and I was talking to Melissa and she feels she needs to make a name for herself. eg: she seems to want to go to university to get a status like an MD attached to her name. Now, I know, you are thinking what do either of them have in common but I just realized they are more similar than you think.

See the person Pam and I were discussing has been given a 'status'. He is almost finished college and was asked by the Pastor to be the Youth Pastor. Something in which him and Pam have been working on for the past year or so. In the summer he went and worked at a church in the states and because of the big congregation he feels that the church that he works out of now is not good enough for him. (so to speak) A lot of other things have been happening but that is what I wanted to focus on for today.

Now Melissa is a hostess at the 'lovely' establishment that I work at. She has been tutoring mentally handicapped adults, and has been working on teaching ESL in Thailand coming next spring. And over the last few days has felt compelled to have a title. She feels that she would not be complete without a title/status in society.

Now the first has now been given authority and the second thinks having authority will make life that much better. I don't know, I just think that if Jesus isn't in the equation than who really cares. In a lot of ways I hope God knocks them both on their ass.

Dustin you need God and you never made it anywhere without Him so don't think just because He put you there that you can think its all about you now. You really need to ask God where you should be. And just to let you know-you and Pam made a huge impact in church a few weeks ago-God used you guys to bring 15 youth to salvation. This happened in the little church in Hamilton. What happened in North Carolina? Not saying it wouldn't happen but just having a big congregation doesn't mean anything at all. Most times it means that the church is further away from the Lord then we would like.

And for Melissa, status means diddly. You need to make Jesus your number one priority. I know He isn't. And you seem to be listen to the other one more than God lately. I love you and don't want you to settle for worldly acceptance when the only acceptance you should be aiming for is God's. Status won't get you happiness or fill that gap that you keep trying to fill. Only Jesus can. Albert Einstein expressed this emptiness when he said: "It is strange to be known so universally and yet . . . be so lonely." What greater name in science to have but Albert Einstein and status/fame whatever you want to call it still never filled his gap.

I love you both and I hope you find what I express to be from my heart and the Spirit. Jesus needs to be in the equation and doing His will for your life is the only way that you will truly live life to the fullest!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

My sister Mary!

For all of you that have been praying for my sister. Your prayers were answered, again in good favour. My sister finally made it home from the hospital on Sunday. Although she is quite weak she is doing well. The twins, are identical twins, and they too are doing just fine. My sister has to take 8 weeks off of work, which she is not looking forward too. She loves work but if she wants to be healthy and have the twins, she has too stay in bed. This really is going to be something. Seeing as my sister doesn't know when to just sit still and now she must for the sake of herself and the babies. Well who cares. Any sacrifice is not too big when it comes to things like this. I guess she will just be stealing all my movies and some books.

Please continue to have her in your prayers. Thank you!!

Monday, November 17, 2003

Mahatma Ghandi speaks about Christ.

Mahatma Ghandi, the great Hindu sage, suggested that if Christ could only be unchained from the shackles of Christianity, he could become "THE WAY", not just for Christians, but for the whole world:

"I refused to believe", he said, "that there exists a person who has not made use of his example, even though he or she may have done so without realizing it... The lives of all who, in some greater or lesser degree, been changed by his presence... And because Jesus has the significance, and transcendency to which I have alluded, I believe he belongs not to Christianity, but to the entire world; to all people , it matters little what faith they profess."

"Leave Christians alone for the moment," he said. "I shall say to the Hindus that your lives will be incomplete unless you reverently study... Jesus. Jesus did not preach a new religion, but a new life" said Ghandi. "Jesus lived and died in vain if he did not teach us to regulate the whole of life by the eternal law of love."

This is the challenge of Christi-anarchy - to find a way to live "the whole of life", in the light of "the eternal law of love", embodied in the shining example of the person of Christ.

Taken from Herban Sprawl.

Sunday, November 16, 2003

About last night.

I came on today to apologize for my last post. I thought about deleting the whole thing but I am not going to do that. What I said in it was from my heart. I know I can not say this to the person so in frustration I used my blog as my release. If I deleted it, it would only go to show that my blog is for people to be pleased. Well, it isn't. It is for me, about me, and I can not please everyone. I love people but this little corner of the web is reserved for me and for my own thoughts. If I did not post what I was feeling then I might as well not have a blog.

That being said, I am still sorry in the way in which I spoke. It is too hard for me to say what I want to this person because I really don't think that they care all that much. That is what is really upsetting me. They seem trapped in the world of _____, and don't even realize it. I know that this person is Godly and is a good person and that is why it hurts so much.

Looking at the whole picture, I am quite tired. I have been going and going all week with the move and painting and work and church and my sister in the hospital and so on and so on that I haven't had that much time to think and when that happens things go crazy when I have a chance to sit and think. That is what happened last night. I couldn't sleep and that post is what came out.

Anyway, stay true to God and He will get you through any obstacle. Peace and blessings. Have a great week.

My ranting about _______!!

Do you know what is crazy? When you think you have friends that care about you and then you finally see that maybe, just maybe they don't even give a crap about you. That they probably don't even think about you. Its sad because the one person I am thinking about (and its not you Melissa) doesn't even realize I exist any more. What is with that? Did they ever know I existed? Its not like we talked all the time but as I go back in my mind to the times that we did, we only talked about serious issues. Things that mattered. I poured parts of my soul to this person that some of my closest friends don't even know or maybe some do. But as I think about this, I don't really think this person really cared about me. They acted like they did when it was convenient for them. When they had 'time'. But of course, they are just always too busy and now with them having a significant other, I am probably non-existant. I guess the brief friendship that we had was worth it. But man, I don't understand it when people just push you aside, never really caring. Maybe they cared, maybe they thought about me, maybe they tried to push me out of their head, maybe they succeeded. Well, I would say that I don't care, but I do. I think about this person more than I think I should and when I try to push them away in my mind, they won't leave. Why God, why won't they leave? I've obviously left their mind if I was even there, why won't they leave mine? You don't know how many times I've prayed. Maybe this is the answer. Maybe this person or myself isn't listening. Maybe I am just a little nut who cares too much about people. I would say I should stop caring because then I wouldn't get hurt, but I love caring. And getting hurt is always a part of growing. Maybe if the person reads this they will know its about them or maybe they won't. But I just want them to know that I do care about you and I know that whatever happens in our friendship will happen either because God wanted it to happen or because one of us was too deaf too hear what God wanted.

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

What's been going on..........

We (as in my parents, a friend, and I) have been over at the new house painting. Yesterday I was there alone and I painted the downstairs ceilings. The ceilings were stucko(?) and I didn't realize how hard it was to paint. So, today my hands are quite sore and my arms are a little achy. My neck hurts a tad but my hands burn when I put them under water and I have a blister on my thumb. It was fun though. I was there by myself, listening to worship music, singing, and painting.

Hint: If a man ever offers to help paint, happily ask him to do the ceilings!! :-)

The house is coming along fine, except the house we occupy now is suffering. We are in the midst of packing, things are everywhere. Ahhhhhhh!! But all will be well, in a few weeks.

Tonight I went to art class. I wasn't planning on going. Firstly 'cause I am sore, secondly 'cause I am quite tired, and thirdly 'cause sometimes the class in more frustrating then relaxing. But, because of Melissa, (see we had this discussion today about me not going to class and she was persistant in me sticking it through), so although I was very comfortable on the couch I dragged my butt to class. And I am so glad I did. I finally started and finished a whole painting in the class. First one and its not that bad. As we are our own worst critic I will give myself the benefit of the doubt and say that it was all right. My mom liked it, but you know mom's, they are always complimenting. :-) So thank you Melissa for pushing me today. If it wasn't for your voice that I kept hearing in the back of my head I never would have went and finished a painting. So, again Thank You!!

Tomorrow I have the day off. Guess what I will be doing?? You are too smart!!! :-) Painting the new house, of course! With my little Matthew to entertain me as I do it and for me to chase him around so he doesn't touch the walls. Actually he has been quite good, for a three year old. He hasn't gotten paint on himself yet. (knock on wood!)

Anyway, I hope you have a great night!! God Bless!!

Friday, November 07, 2003

There's something about moving.....

....that is special. I was packing tonight and only a few minutes ago did I actually stop. This is only the third time in my life that I have actually moved. Which I guess is a blessing, especially from some stories I have heard.

I was going through my closet. You know where you keep all of the forgotten things of past. Well, it was quite nice. According to my old school work I was very good in Science and English. Although when I read some of the stories I had written, I thought 'what was that teacher thinking when she gave me an A'. Seriously, it wasn't that good. But whatever, it doesn't matter any more.

I also found old letters from a friend who touched my life, for a brief period but an intense period of my life. It was quite amazing how well he wrote. I wish I knew where I could find him. I haven't talked to him since 2000 and that is a little upsetting. Its quite funny how people touch our lives and then just 'disappear'. I am glad that he touched my life, at the time I didn't realize it, which is usually the way. But looking back I wouldn't take back any moments of my life with him or anybody else. They have helped shape me into the person I am today.

People plant things in you that sometimes you don't even realize until years down the road. Some make you see things differently, some teach, some just are. Its amazing how God works through people. I don't believe in coincidences and I don't believe in fluke. I am glad you are reading this. Its God and when I read your writings I am glad also. I never would have met you otherwise. Or maybe I would have, only God knows. But I hope I can touch your life as much as you have been touching mine. God be with you! Have a safe and God filled weekend!!

Thursday, November 06, 2003

A challenge!

This is a challenge. Are you up to it? I dare you to listen to this song every morning for the next two weeks.

Love Song

I've heard it said that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times has he broken that promise
It has never been done
I've never climbed the highest mountain
But I walked the hill of Calvary

Just to be with you, I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you, I'd give anything
I would give my life away

I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times has he broken that promise
It can never be done
I've never swam the deepest ocean
But I walked upon the raging sea

I know that you don't understand the fullness of My love
How I died upon the cross for you sins
And I know that you don't realize how much that I give you
But I promise, I would do it all again

Just to be with you, I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay
Just to be with you, I gave everything
Yes, I gave my life away

Written by Mac Powell, Music by Third Day

Monday, November 03, 2003

Surfacing, dealing, refocusing, and praying.

Ok, so I have been asking God to bring up things that need to be dealt with in my life. Because how can I move forward if I haven't dealt with 'ghosts' of the past. As time has been going on I have been dealing with some issues. But on Thursday I got a huge surprise. Something that I thought I had dealt with long ago, but obviously hadn't.

I won't say exactly because hello I don't know you and you don't really know me but I've been wondering why I didn't see it before. You see I did deal with this issue a while back, but I think my heart has held on to hopes. Hopes I didn't really want to admit. I guess on Thursday, my heart and mind came to the realization that all the hopes that I had been holding on too were not real and that they never were going to be.

It is a little weird for me, because I am thinking that I should be upset or something and yet I am not. I guess Jesus took the weight that I didn't know was there off of my back. It really is amazing to have such a wonderful God who wants to show you real love.

Although I am not one hundred percent comfortable as of yet, I am coming to grips with only having one Man as my lover. That man is Jesus. I have forever wanted a husband but I am dealing with the fact that Jesus wants me to focus on Him and Him alone. How could He provide a husband when I am not completely focused on Him? A husband would only cloud the picture because what does a husband do-he wants to please his wife, and what does a wife do-she wants to please her husband. These are good things but if both of them are not completely focused on Jesus as number one then how fulfilling will their lives truly be?

And so, I am refocusing my energy on Him and am going to stop worrying about whether or not I will be alone. Because I will never be alone. I will have the bestest lover, the bestest friend, and companion ever for always with me, not at my side, in me.

Thank you Father for everything you have ever provided for me. For everything that you have ever blessed me with. For all the trials and tribulations that you put me through. For all the trials that are to come. I only pray that I may display half the love that you showed me when you died on the cross for me. By giving me the Spirit as my helper, as my guide in this life. For preserving the bible as my hand book for life. Lord, keep pushing me, keep surfacing the demons in my heart so that I may deal with them, so that you may deal with me. I pray for peace in my heart. I want to be like Paul - although he was going through 'hell' he felt peace in his heart because of You. I want to trust You as Paul did, actually moreso. I want to totally depend on You and nothing or no one else. Help me to do that. Help me to just let go and let you take full control of my life. In this I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Sunday, November 02, 2003

Jesus speaks in the theatre!!!

Today Melissa, Skye and I went to the theatre. We saw 'The Gospel of John'. I thought it was really well done. I am thinking they might have left out some things but I will have to check my bible first. I am much more familiar with the Gospel of Matthew, so I might just be mixing them up a bit.

Skye said (at the end of the movie) that the movie made her love Jesus more. I was glad that I took her, because she really didn't want to go. She said that 3hrs is too long. But she stuck it through and gained something from it, which was my intentions anyway. :-) God truly is amazing!!!

Some parts in the movie, I actually literally felt as though God was talking to me. Jesus was speaking directly to me. I know He was answering some questions I have been having even some that I didn't directly ask. I am glad that I went. I know Jesus would have answered my questions whether I did or didn't go but He answered and spoke to my heart at the theatre. I am so excited. I could jump up and down and throw my arms up right now. whoa whoo!!!!

I recommend you to go and see it. I plan on going again, to take my sister and my mom.