Forgiveness is required by all Christians. It sometimes sounds easier than it is though. For the past week I have not exactly been completely myself. I was still angry about the situation that I wrote about in the last post and I seemed to allow it to grip me.
I confided in a man from church about the situation and his response was to seek forgiveness for my actions and to say sorry. He said that as a Christian our job is to go low, to be humble in everything. This sounded all good but my heart was not in a place to forgive someone or even myself for that matter. I actually was thinking of never speaking to the person again and forgiveness didn't seem to fit into my life for him.
All week the Holy Spirit harped on me about forgiveness. I kept feeling as though I should write this guy a letter of apology. I struggled and I struggled and at one point I did write one. It did not seem or feel genuine so I scrapped it. I couldn't write or say something that I wasn't feeling in my heart. To do that would be lying to myself and to the other person. Something that wouldn't be fair to either of us.
The one thing that I require most in any relationship, friendship or otherwise is honesty. That was the one thing for which I knew he wasn't being. So to forgive would mean to go really low. I know pride and self righteousness was part of my unforgiveness, but even knowing this didn't make it any easier.
Today at church I had a new revelation of the Father. I guess in a sense it wasn't exactly new but it finally clicked in my heart that I really was sorry for my part in the whole thing and that in order to be free from satan's lies I really did need to forgive him. So today I went low, because that is what Jesus would have done. I did apologize and I feel awesome, no matter what his response is, or even if I get one. I really felt a burden fall off my shoulders and I feel myself again. I am so glad Jesus never gives up on me. Sometimes I am hard to handle and sometimes I am a bit too stubborn but through the amazing work of the Holy Spirit I am humbled by all of this. I am truly blessed for having Jesus in my life and I am extremely happy that no matter what satan does to try to ruin God's promises, he still will not win because my God is the one true Living God who reigns on heaven and earth through wisdom, power and love. My God Is An Awesome God!!!
Thank you Lord for teaching me yet another life lesson; this time on forgiveness.