Wednesday, April 28, 2004


You know its time to move on when everyday that you get to work you wonder why you are there. Then you dread starting. Once you start you are fine but as it slows down you really want to be the first one out the door. Well, this is how I have been feeling for about a month now. On Saturday I was so bugged about being there that I said 'If anyone, mostly meaning the managers, piss me off or say something out of line, then I am just going to walk out." Ok, that is not how I respond to things and that is not the type of attitude I have. But lately, I really don't want to be there. I thought that maybe it was the favouritism for certain staff, or the way everyone talks at work(very dirty, very sinful), or how I see people move on, but I don't think it is any of that. All those things have been there from the beginning. I have loved the job from the start but I don't know anymore. Maybe I just need a change of scenery. I am also feeling that itch to head back to school. But that will not be for another umteen months. I have to work and God has blessed me with it so what's bothering me so much? A few people I work with feel the same way. Maybe it is the atmosphere. Maybe it has changed. I don't really think I've changed all that much but I do know I need a change.

I know I shouldn't be complaining because I am able to do so many things that others can't do. I have just been thinking about my life and my happiness. I can't do what I am doing for the rest of my life and I do have dreams of something bigger. Right now I feel I am in the waiting room of God's house, sitting there, waiting and waiting and waiting for Him to show me which way I should go. The waiting room sucks! But I did ask for patience, maybe this is part of it!! I just keep telling myself to remember Job's story.

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