Thursday, February 12, 2004

Time with God.

Its weird, but as you get older you think that you would be more wise and that you would be closer to God. Well, I may be a little bit wiser than I used to be but I am not as close to God as I ought to be. I was reading my posts from way back in August and each month after that and I noticed that I had a bond to the Almighty. There was something going on within me and God was working in my life. I continued reading and as December and January approached I noticed that there was less and less talk about God and more talk about myself. I think I did something majorly wrong here.

Its funny because I think about God all the freakin' time. Everytime I am about to make a decision, and as I fall asleep, and when I am talking to someone etc.... And yet the only time I seem to make for Him is when I am teaching my children or saying prayers with my children before they go to sleep. I am not attempting on my own to have a conversation with Him. Maybe I am but in a different way. But, does thinking about Him and having Him hang around you with all aspects of your life enough? I am thinking no!!! Why don't I get up out of bed and talk to Him in the morning. He is suppose to be my number one priority. So why don't I make time for Him? I can't even answer these questions. And truthfully, it doesn't even make any kind of sense to me.

Matthew reminded me about lent. I am no longer Catholic but there are some traditions that serve us good that we don't bother with. One of these, is lent. Although we should be sacrificing and fasting and giving things up for the Lord all year long, we don't always do that. Lent is a reminder of what Jesus did for us. And the Lenten season is there for us to give something up and sacrifice for 40 days and nights. So, I have kept with that tradition that I 'lend' from the Catholics. When Matthew heard about what I gave up last year he was inspired to give something up as well. So this year he asked me what I intended to give up and do you know what, I had not even thought about it.

Well, since his well needed reminder, I have been racking my brain to come up with something that will truly represent sacrificing for me. I really need to get back on track with the Lord and hopefully this will be the eye opener that I have been needing. Last year I gave up my computer. So for 40 days and nights I lived without this machine. And it reminded me that although we 'think' we can not live without it, we most definitely can. This year, I want it to be something more. And I think I am going to give up more than one thing. I have a few ideas but I will reveal them as lent approaches.

Well, whatever I give up for that time period I am hoping will steer my thoughts and actions and focus on the Lord.

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