Sunday, October 26, 2003


Here I am, a bit confused, as always. :-). I read the bible, I pray, I think I get what God is saying to me and then I act on it, or do I? I wake up and feel as though I want to go to church and as the day progresses I wonder should I go. Then I go anyway, which always turns out to be a great thing. God always blesses me at church. I see the Spirit working in the pastor. I see how his faith grows with God even when he doesn't see results in the church. This really should be in two posts but whatever, I am going to ramble away... God gives this great miracle of twins to my sister. She says she asked for salvation. But then goes on like she always lived. Doesn't ones heart change after salvation? After a miracle? Did mine? I witnessed to everyone the miracle, my sister's salvation. But then a week or two later do I slip a little? I have a drink at a party that my friend was having. I get into conversations with Melissa all the time about God, are either one of us changing for the better? I know in my heart God is there. I know that He is awesome. If I look daily I do see miracles and His grace. Am I as close as I want to be? No way!! How do I get there? The bible says to go sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. It also says If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross, and follow Me. And to take nothing for your journey. So, in todays day and age, what does that mean? I hear Christians saying that you can have that car, that computer, that nice house on the hill etc.. But if Christ said 'take what you have and sell it and give it to the poor' why do Christians say that? Do they just want the best of both worlds? I know its inticing, but in Revelations Jesus talks about being lukewarm. Are we lukewarm? Am I lukewarm? Because if I really look deep I can honestly say I love a lot of the things in this world. I have given up some of them. And its been hard. I know if I give it all up my rewards will be many, so what am I waiting for?

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