This was too funny not to post. If you are from Ontario you will have no choice but to laugh. But I am sure that other provinces can relate just the same. I can relate to more of these than I would have thought. :-)
LIVING IN ONTARIO
Jeff Foxworthy on Ontario:
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Ontario.
If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Wawa is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Ontario.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you might live in Ontario
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you might live in Ontario.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Ontario.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Ontario.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Ontario.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Ontarian when:
1. "Vacation" means going South past London for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching
6. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
8. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
9. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
10. Down South to you means London .
11. Your 1st. of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
12. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
13. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."