Back in August I felt God really pressing me. I started to make my way toward Him after letting go of some things that needed to be cleaned. He showed me something. I know it was Him, it was so real, it was so right, and it was so certain. One of the things He showed me was that I was to be a counselor. It made so much sense. He showed me how I had helped people in the past and how I will help people in the future. Somehow I ended up at a Christian College website and found out that I could get a bachelors degree in Christian counseling. Its funny because I remember awhile ago, being on that site and seeing no such thing. Apparently they have had that degree from the time when they opened. So, my conclusion was that God blinded me to it until I was ready to see it and move forward. Make sense?
Anyway, I went for orientation. I had an interview with the Admissions department and the only thing left for me to do was actually get all the paperwork in order and submit them. I don't know why but it seems as though this is the hardest thing for me to do. All I have to do is fill out the application, have a written testimony, and have two reference letters-one from a pastor and a personal one. So, the first two are not hard. I figured the last two can't be that hard either. Wrong!! I asked someone well respected that I have known for awhile if he would write me a personal reference letter. He said he was honoured to do it. I have bugged him for weeks for it. The last time I talked to him he said all he needed to do was transfer it to the computer for a good copy. That was last week. I still don't have it. And the pastor letter is impossible to get. I asked my last pastor and he won't write one because he says its against his understanding of the bible. He says we are to learn all things from the Spirit, and there is no need to go to school to learn from God. So, I asked my uncle's pastor. I have attended his church on and off before and after I had become Christian. I didn't get any sort of response from him, so after waiting almost a month I finally decided to call my uncle so he could ask him personally. I just got an email from him and he says he feels uncomfortable writing me a reference because he didn't agree with my last pastor about biblical teachings. The church I go to now, said they don't feel comfortable writing a letter either because they don't know me personally. I had been going to that church off/on for four years and have now made it my home church. And how is a pastor suppose to know all his members personally, especially in a big church? The only thing they said they would do is get my bible study leader to write a letter and they would sign it as well. I am not sure this is what the college is expecting seeing as they want a letter from an ordained pastor.
I was starting to get discouraged and was second guessing if what I heard was from God when my friend Laura said that when it seems as though it will never happen and things don't fall into place as you expect, usually that is a confirmation that it is from God. It's like He wants me to trust in Him for it to happen and for me to not worry because if it is His will it will be done. It made sense when she spoke but sometimes I feel as though it is never going to happen.
As I read my uncle's pastor's letter I felt like crying. Nothing is falling into place. Nothing is moving forward, regarding this situation. It is basically November and school starts in January. Time is ticking. Please put me in your prayers. And Lord God Almighty, let your will be done.