Sunday, October 17, 2004


I have been feeling God pressing on my heart. Probably more than I have ever felt Him before. I don't know why, but I think it all started when He revealed to me something I was 'holding' on too. Once I let it go, things have been what feels like fast forward. It's so funny because I prayed for so long for things to start happening, and I knew that it would, in His time. The thing is, I have been praying for about for four years and not until the end of August did things actually start happening. I couldn't say that at this moment you would see a lot of physical stuff happening but man He is seriously working inside. I feel Him 'digging' all the time. I have never heard God so clearly and the things that He has to say are overwhelming, scary but amazing. And I find it hard because like I said before, why me?

I have only discussed what has been going on in depth with one other person. She just thinks it is totally awesome and finds the whole thing to be great. But it's not happening to her. I am not saying it is bad, because it is the furthest thing from it but to have God respond to you the way He has responded to me, not even responded, just is. His time, His plan, His purpose. Trust, Trust, Trust!!!

I briefly told two others only just this week. They don't even know the half of it but I wanted some advice, not even advice, moreso wisdom on what has been going on. I was directed to some scriptures on the subject and was told of other peoples experiences in the same thing. I'm grateful for it and just discussing it has led me to a greater understanding of what He has been saying/doing.

I have been reading the bible more and trying to dig into it. I had to read Jonah to figure out why I would first think of him and now I am reading Jeremiah to see what He will reveal to me through this book. I know I do not need to know everything about what is going on and I know God will reveal things as they are needed. Like I said before, I just need to trust in Him and continue to open myself up to Him. Keep working Lord, Holy Spirit keep stirring my heart, you are free to use me as you wish, I just pray you give me the strength and the courage to continue to walk...

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