This week has been a little stale, maybe not stale but whatever!! I feel the power of the Lord pressing on in me. I feel His presence all around me. I also feel confused. I have been wanting certain things to come to pass and I think the Lord is purposefully waiting. I sometimes feel as though I get a little taste and then He takes it from me almost just as fast. Maybe these things were never even mine to begin with. Truthfully, they were not mine I just wished that they were. I have to continuously remember that God is in control and when He deems it is my time then, it will be. I know that if I desire Him first He will give me the desires of my own heart.
How come it is so hard to trust sometimes? I have tried trusting man and that proves itself over and over that they can't be trusted. I know that there are good people out there. I just know my past and I know what has happened when I had finally trusted someone. I always seem to be the one to get hurt. God is different!! I know that on an intellectual level and yet when push comes to shove I can't seem to get it stuck in my heart. God will not abandon me! Even when it appeared as though He abandoned Job, or Joseph, or Jeremiah and so on... He didn't. IT is the waiting period which eats at me. I ask for patience. Maybe that wasn't a good idea. But I asked any way. Time sucks!! It feels as though it is passing way to quickly and not enough things are happening. I just got to keep telling myself to trust in the Lord, He knows what He is doing, and if something works out it was because it was suppose to and if it doesn't then it wasn't suppose to be.
If you find it in your heart, I ask for your prayers. Any prayer is a good prayer. While I pray, I will pray for you too!!